Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Hook, line and sink[ing fast]er

Tonight was crochet class number 3. Here are some of the highlights:
  • Gauge is still not important.
  • The women in the class kept calling the acrylic yarn "wool." WOOL? I'm sorry, but I don't think they'd recognize wool if a sheep bit them in the ass.
  • "There is no right or wrong technique. You can change a stitch if you want to. Just do whatever makes you comfortable."

And here's a conversation that occurred between me and "Susan," the instructor, at one point during the class:

Susan: Hey--maybe you could teach knitting.
Me: [nervous laughter]
Susan: So, what kind of things do you knit? Blankets?
Me: No blankets. I've made some sweaters, mittens, hats. Lately I've been knitting socks.
Susan: Oh...
Me: Next week can you help me with the crochet trim on that baby sweater. It needs a single crochet as well as a reverse single crochet.
Susan: Reverse single crochet?!?!?!?!? Uh... uh...

And with that Susan scurried ran--yes, RAN--away from me! Does this woman not know how to reverse single crochet? This is for a pattern out of my BEGINNER BASICS book! BEGINNER!!!

Oh, and just to make things interesting, there's a new woman in class. Yes, this is the third out of the four classes and she just started tonight. She actually can crochet, but she's been having problems with a couple of projects. One of the projects is pink and purple--I'm not sure exactly what it is. The other project (the one she's having the most problems with) is yellow and black. When I first looked at it, I thought it was kid's bee costume. It had a yellow top and bottom and black striping in the middle. Well... apparently it's something she started 20 years ago. Yes, years! It's a bikini bathing suit that she's trying to turn into a one piece bathing suit (that would be the black striping stuff). I. Kid. You. Not.

And the topper--apparently she does cat rescue. She has 17 cats. She asked us if anyone wanted a cat.

Next week's class--Christmas ornaments.

I'm afraid...


Anonymous said...

Ok, I can't stand it anymore. You've got to tell me where this class is. (Do it privately, not in the comments, I'm not trying to spread rumors, I just *need* to know - and I think you're local to me.)

Although I have to admit, the crocheted bee swimsuit might almost have some halloween currency. ;-)

Anonymous said...

oh man! I'm loving the posts that the class is generating, even if you're probably not learning a friggin' thing. And I can hear that nervous laugh of yours when she asked you to teach knitting. You COULD do it but would you WANT to do it?

Anonymous said...

Dude, what's this "crochet" thing you keep talking about? What does this mean?: "You can change a stitch if you want to."

Abort! Abort! Can you get your money back?